Bobby
hardly says a word the whole way to Lincoln, nothing beyond what's
necessary. He waits with John until the tow truck comes, then turns
around and says, "Guess I'll head back and check on those boys of
yours." Neutral, like John can't tell exactly what Bobby thinks about
it. John mutters, "Travel safe," and that's it. Bobby's gone.
Crazy
to leave the truck out here, unsecured in a place like this. He's got a
lot of hardware stored in it, got a lot of time invested in it too. He
waited as long as he could, until he knew for sure that Dean was going
to wake up again. Signed himself out AMA, like that mattered to him.
What did they think, he was gonna sit by his son's bed and watch him
heal from the wounds John himself made? And he sure as hell wasn't
sticking around so they could pump him full of drugs that left him slow
and sleepy. He has a hard enough time controlling his thoughts when
he's awake: let his mind wander and all he can hear is his son pleading
with him, calling him Daddy like a little boy.
Enough of that, he tells himself.
They
tell him the truck won't be ready 'til tomorrow; he tells them he can
fit the damned tires himself if they'll give him a place to work. The
guy at the desk starts spouting some bullshit about liability and
insurance; it's a relief to have something to lose his temper at. Ends
up storming out, though, and has take the truck down the road to the
next place. By then it's so late that they tell him tomorrow, too.
There's
a cheap motel along the strip, all thin walls and rusty carpet. John
dumps his bag on the floor and lies back on the bed. Doesn't seem worth
it to take a shower. His phone rings; he doesn't answer it, just lies
there and listens to it ring again and again, wishing he'd hit the
liquor store before checking in. Sam will give up, eventually. Come
tomorrow John will start checking the papers again, strike out west,
maybe, anywhere but Missouri. Anywhere but the bed his boy was lying
in, bloodless and mute. Anywhere but the bare room where he might have
to meet his younger son's eyes.
Sam should have killed him when he had the chance.
end
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